That is a question we, as staff, are often asked when people find out what we do. We understand it to be a rhetorical question. My response doesn't waver, no matter what the motive behind the question. "It's the hardest thing I've ever done yet the best thing I've ever done."
It’s not your typical nine-to-five
desk job. Most days are planned in your calendar but rarely executed on
schedule. Some days are so heart wrenching, you pray for Jesus to
return and take you home. Some days are so joyous, you pray to never
forget what you are experiencing. You know that you will need these
moments as a reminder for those days when you feel your heart has exited your
body and is laying in the middle of traffic with 16-wheelers driving over it
one after another after another.
Recently, I was in a position where
I had to make a decision of which family I was going to be with. One was
attending the funeral of the families oldest daughter (followed by a funeral,
the next morning, for the step-daughter) who was murdered 4 days before; or be in court to support a young man and his mom whom I’ve known for 10+
years and is working to get
custody of his 1 year old son. If it was just a normal court hearing, it
would have been an easier decision but his mom was in despair, afraid they were
going to lose the baby over an accident. How do you decide between two
hurting families? One at the height of their grief over losing a child;
the other experiencing anxiety and emotions deeper than they remember in fear
of losing their child/grandchild. The loss for the second family
would be as deep as what the first family was in the middle of experiencing.
How do you decide when both things are an hour apart and the drive
between the two is 40 minutes? I searched and searched for an answer...
and there was none. I sought wise counsel but still did not feel at
peace. I sought counsel again - still no peace.
These decisions are common when involved in
family ministry - other families become your family. You never know
when you might get that phone call, a knock on your door, a text that jolts you
out of your reality and thrusts you into a whole different world that is
uncomfortable, scary and maybe even dangerous. Our jobs aren’t just a
means to a paycheck. They are our life. We are on the clock 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week.
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| In the trenches |
We are in the trenches when we participate in
ground level ministry. We are meeting people who have lived lives that
many only see in movies. We meet with prostitutes; we live next to drug
dealers; we have people shot outside our homes; we are with children who do not
know how to control their anger; we are in homes of teens who are in need of
mental health care; we have kids in our homes who have never experienced
affectionate positive love from a parent; we speak with parents who don’t want
their kids anymore; we see deep hurt, crippling fear, and overwhelming
addiction.... but out of that we also see God’s redeeming power. We
have seen women come to know Jesus and watched their countenance change.
We have seen young men approach us and ask to have a SAFE place to hang
out. We have seen young men and women say “I will never be like this” and
surround themselves with people who are helping to pull them out of the cycle.
We have seen children abandoned by their parents, fight to have a better
future.
Our God is more powerful than any of the
horrific things that we experience. God has called each of us, whether staff
or volunteer staff, to serve at UFM at this time for a specific reason.
Our job is to be obedient to what HE calls us to do. Until then we
dream of a time when we will be sitting face to face with Jesus, in full and
complete worship, praising Him. I recently ran across a song by Kari Jobe
entitled ‘The More I Seek You.” The lyrics provide such a worshipful time
in my own corner of the world that I have played it over and over again,
dreaming of the time we stand face-to-face with Jesus.
“The more I seek you, the more I find you.
The more I find you, the more I love you. I wanna sit at your feet,
drink from the cup in your hand, lay back against you and breathe, feel your
heart beat. This love is so deep, it’s more than I can stand. I
melt in your peace, it’s overwhelming.”
It’s these moments and prayers that keep us
going. It’s these times when we have to lean on God’s strength.
It’s these days when we have to keep our eyes focused on the one who
called us to minister at the ground level.
