Loving Big!

"Love is motion, love is action. love is freedom, rest, and passion." ~ Andrew Osenga

Heidi loving on a family's little one.

As a single 27 year old woman, I do wonder if I will ever get to love someone in such a way, then I realize that God did not create me to love just ONE person. He created me to love as He loved me, which, is far beyond what I imagine myself capable of doing.  However, I do know something about myself that I will state here without any intention of being conceded or pompous, I love BIG. I love fast and love hard and risk ALOT.  Many of those I love, can not love me back. Often our relationship begins with that unrequited love being acted out as my heart gets stomped all over. This can be seen in a variety of relationships I've held - friends, acquaintances, guys, family, students, co-workers, etc. 

John Perkins said, "When you look into their faces, you get a glimpse of the face of God." He was referring to the people we serve, the people we meet on a daily basis, and the people we already know and care for.  This changed my perspective on the way I love. As a follower of Christ I don't have the option to love selectively.  I don't get to pick and choose who is worthy of love;  because I am human, I play favorites, but even that's been something that I was called-out on this past year.  How can I say "I love you" to three different people yet clearly show love to only one in that group.  That doesn't match up and proves me a liar.  
(I wonder what my life would look like should I choose not to love. What an empty world that would be. I'd be friendless, jobless, and homeless. I would be without the very reason(s) for which I work and live each day. I would be lost. What a fearful thought.) 

God's created me to love big and deal with hurt and rejection with some ease. Does that mean I don't hurt, absolutely not. I've been hurt and have experienced rejection in ways many don't know or haven't experienced, but I know it could have been much worse.  People have left by choice, by someone else's choice, on good conditions, on bad conditions, suddenly and over the course of time.  I've experienced loss (which could be a whole separate entry) which causes me to question my capacity to keep loving. Why love when it will only lead to hurt?  Because Christ first loved us and served as the perfect and ultimate example of love shown through a life of sacrifice for the good of others….for our good. 

He was constantly choosing someone other than himself. 

Jesus sought the broken, he didn't EXPECT the broken to come to him yet,  He was unable to walk through a town unnoticed. His reputation preceded him wherever he traveled. Loving well, did not go unnoticed, but drew the lonely, rejected, poor, hurt, sick, wounded, messed up people into his presence.  

Three more loves Heidi loves BIG...

Loving big leads to hurting big but think about all the ways God's protected you from deeper hurt? Each time I feel rejected I remember that I serve a God who's greater than it ALL, that He loved me so much that He'd allow me to experience hurt and brokenness, but He walks before and behind, leading me and covering me along the way.  While it may not be EASY, God makes loving BIG 100% worth it, every time. 

~guest author, Heidi, staff

A Night to Remember...

Jewelry? Check! 

Shoes? Check!

Dress? Check!

As I readied myself for the WCSG Father/Daughter Banquet, I couldn't help but wonder how "ma girls" were doing.  Last year, I had the pleasure of attending this Daddy/Daughter date night with my dad. Few months after the banquet, some UFM teens were talking to Mr. Dan, a faithful volunteer staff member, about the event, commenting on how they wish he would take them to the banquet in 2013.  Dan approached me shortly after his conversation with the girls asking if I'd be willing to help make this happen. 

 On Friday, April 12th, Dan escorted Mikela, Miracle, and Sarah. Luke, another volunteer, escorted Jaira and Ashari, and my dad, Dave, escorted Deshownna and me to the WSCG Father/Daughter Banquet. Each of us has a different "father" story, but this evening we were escorted by three incredible men who simply wanted to treat us all like princesses.

We rode to Hudsonville in a UFM 15 passenger van, and sashayed into the Pinnacle Conference Center in Hudsonville.  Ok, so we're not the "sashay" types, so some ran, some wobbled in on stylish heels, and the men walked coolly to the door.

The girls were all dressed to the nines in pretty dresses, cute shoes, and accessories to match. The men looked dapper and Mr. Dan wore a fancy new suit!  We met at the UFM office to snap some photos and hop in our "sweet ride."  The girls were all a flutter with anticipation.  After arriving at the event site, we found our table, got comfy and stared around the room. What fun it was to see all the dads and their daughters enjoying time with each other.  Not a frown to be seen.  

Dinner was served. A fancy dinner.  We had multiple forks and cloth napkins.  The girls were so precious as they navigated their way through this high-class affair.  We ate our salads and rolls, and waited for the main course.  The presentation was lovely, Hawaiian chicken, green beans, and mashed potatoes smothered in a Hawaiian pineapple sauce.  We dug in…but, hungry as we were, for some around the table, the fancy food did not meet their expectations, so they ate cake and rolls and salad all the while making hilarious, disgusted faces as the rest of us finished our meals.

Jason Castro, American Idol season seven fourth runner up, was the entertainment for the evening. The girls talked through much of the concert, commenting on his musical style, other people's outfits, the decorations, the food, etc.  The little girls, ages 10 and 11, tried hard to stay engaged, but the music just wasn't their style.  At one break when Jason was introducing his next song, we heard noises that sounded like radio interference. My dad and I looked down and saw that Jaira and Ashari were laying underneath a chair watching Spongebob Squarepants on someone's cell phone.

At evening's end, the emcees announced that all ladies would receive a flower as they left.  All of the girls were excited. After snapping a few more photos, we made our way to the door.  As the girls  received a carnation from the Cornerstone Radio staff, their faces lit up. Some had never received a flower before so they felt extra special.

As we rode home, the girls chattered about the event, school, friends, and the homework they had to complete over the course of the weekend.  As we left, lots of hugs were exchanged and many "thank-yous" expressed. 

What an incredible experience the evening was!  I am so thankful to be surrounded by incredible students, volunteers, and family and am so very grateful to have shared such a memorable night with such great friends.  

~guest author, Heidi, staff

Being Comforted by a Child...

Alf and Malcom

Our theme for Super Saturday this past fall was “Walking With Us.” During the lesson titled “God Never Leaves Us”, I shared a personal story:

When I was a high school sophomore, my family and I were evicted from our home during Christmas break. With such a large family, it was nearly impossible to find a place to stay. A family friend opened their garage to us for a couple nights. It was the middle of winter. While we lay on our beds made of garbage bags filled with our clothes, it felt as though God was nowhere near us. I spoke that thought aloud and my momma immediately corrected me. “God IS with us ALL THE TIME, even when we don’t feel His presence.” 

I asked the kids, “Does anyone know what I’m talking about?” Many raised their hands, others nodded their heads in agreement.  I closed the lesson and we moved on with the evening.

Later, while I was chatting with some volunteers, Malcom, a young man who had hear my story, came walking up. I remember thinking “Why is he standing so close to me?” as if he were invading my personal space. I looked down to see his big eyes looking straight at me.

“Hey, Malcom. What’s up man?” I asked.

“Mr. Alf, I know exactly what you are feeling,” as he looked down and nodded his head lightly. “I know exactly what you’re feeling.”

“What you mean, man?” I asked.

Malcom placed a hand on my arm as if to comfort me and responded, “I know what you are feeling because my family was evicted too, one time.”

WOW! This little guy, maybe 10 years old, was comforting me! Those standing there with me began to tear up at Malcom’s compassion and desire to make me feel better. I looked straight at Malcom and said to him, 

“Yes, you do know what I’m feeling but, God is always there with you. He may have allowed that to happen because he’s preparing you for the future. He’s preparing you for greatness.”

Malcom went back and joined the kids participating in game time, but those few moments he spent with me will be forever held in my heart and mind. God has great things planned for our kids at Urban Family Ministries and I praise Him for continually giving me glimpses of His power and work in their lives.

~Guest Author - Heidi, staff as told by Alf, Executive Director

A lesson about honesty at Super Saturday from a teen...

Deshownna in 2004

Deshownna is 13 years old and an 8th grader.  This summer, she was asked to join our Teen Leadership group because of this type of example she is.  She's been involved with Urban Family Ministries since Kindergarten.  Read in Deshownna's own words what she learned and how she was tested on Saturday night.

     What I learned this week at Super Saturday was honesty.  Mr. Alf put me and some other teenagers in a skit about honesty. [There were 3 groups of us pretending to be in conversation. He walked by and dropped some money in front of each group.] Only 1 group of kids was honest enough to give his money back.

Later on that Saturday, I think I got tested a little because Ms. Heidi dropped a 20 dollar bill [and I saw it lying on the floor.] Now, it was very tempting [to pocket the money], but I decided to do the right thing and turn the money in to Mr. Alf.

Deshownna today, with her mentor, Ms. Heidi

That same night I found a pair of glasses and 

gave them to Mr. Alf as well. It’s funny how we JUST got done talking about honesty, and doing a skit specifically about returning money someone’s dropped and there just HAPPENED to be a 20 dollar bill right in front of me!

Deshownna

Praise God with us as we rejoice in this type of growth and for the willingness to share.

God is always speaking... we rarely listen...

     While prepping for small group, I spent nearly 4 hours in search of a Psalm that would help us continue on the trajectory of “Remembering: A Journey through Story.” God and I had words. It seemed He was keeping me stuck on a particular passage that didn’t seem applicable. I wasn’t listening. He HAD given me the words to share, but I wasn’t cooperating.

The teen girls group.

     Thursday evening, as we began our discussion, I told the girls, “It seems God just wants us to share with one another.” We reflected on how long we’ve been in community and the safety of sharing life with sisters who care. (The week prior we’d talked about the real meanings of love as found in 1 Corinthians 13). I was able to share what God laid on my heart and proceeded to open the floor to anything they felt they wanted to share.

     Conversation flowed quite naturally as the girls talked about different ideas and issues they’d been thinking about. Out of the blue, Deshownna interrupted saying, “What I want to know is has anyone ever looked at Psalm 13? 12 is my favorite number so I decided to check out Psalm 12, but THEN I read Psalm 13…Psalm 13 is like, EXACTLY what I was thinking! God does that with me, like, I’ll have a question in my head and He’ll just GIVE me the answer from a person, from the Bible for somewhere else.”

     God is always talking, we just need to slow down and listen.  He gives us exactly the words we need, exactly when needed. Deshownna’s testimony is powerful. That young lady listens. She’s always sharing new things God has whispered to her, thereby encouraging all around her to slow down and listen up.

 “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.”  Psalm 13:5-6

~ guest author - Heidi, staff