Loving Big!

"Love is motion, love is action. love is freedom, rest, and passion." ~ Andrew Osenga

Heidi loving on a family's little one.

As a single 27 year old woman, I do wonder if I will ever get to love someone in such a way, then I realize that God did not create me to love just ONE person. He created me to love as He loved me, which, is far beyond what I imagine myself capable of doing.  However, I do know something about myself that I will state here without any intention of being conceded or pompous, I love BIG. I love fast and love hard and risk ALOT.  Many of those I love, can not love me back. Often our relationship begins with that unrequited love being acted out as my heart gets stomped all over. This can be seen in a variety of relationships I've held - friends, acquaintances, guys, family, students, co-workers, etc. 

John Perkins said, "When you look into their faces, you get a glimpse of the face of God." He was referring to the people we serve, the people we meet on a daily basis, and the people we already know and care for.  This changed my perspective on the way I love. As a follower of Christ I don't have the option to love selectively.  I don't get to pick and choose who is worthy of love;  because I am human, I play favorites, but even that's been something that I was called-out on this past year.  How can I say "I love you" to three different people yet clearly show love to only one in that group.  That doesn't match up and proves me a liar.  
(I wonder what my life would look like should I choose not to love. What an empty world that would be. I'd be friendless, jobless, and homeless. I would be without the very reason(s) for which I work and live each day. I would be lost. What a fearful thought.) 

God's created me to love big and deal with hurt and rejection with some ease. Does that mean I don't hurt, absolutely not. I've been hurt and have experienced rejection in ways many don't know or haven't experienced, but I know it could have been much worse.  People have left by choice, by someone else's choice, on good conditions, on bad conditions, suddenly and over the course of time.  I've experienced loss (which could be a whole separate entry) which causes me to question my capacity to keep loving. Why love when it will only lead to hurt?  Because Christ first loved us and served as the perfect and ultimate example of love shown through a life of sacrifice for the good of others….for our good. 

He was constantly choosing someone other than himself. 

Jesus sought the broken, he didn't EXPECT the broken to come to him yet,  He was unable to walk through a town unnoticed. His reputation preceded him wherever he traveled. Loving well, did not go unnoticed, but drew the lonely, rejected, poor, hurt, sick, wounded, messed up people into his presence.  

Three more loves Heidi loves BIG...

Loving big leads to hurting big but think about all the ways God's protected you from deeper hurt? Each time I feel rejected I remember that I serve a God who's greater than it ALL, that He loved me so much that He'd allow me to experience hurt and brokenness, but He walks before and behind, leading me and covering me along the way.  While it may not be EASY, God makes loving BIG 100% worth it, every time. 

~guest author, Heidi, staff

A highlight of just one of our awesome teens...

Shamar (L) and Trevon (R) at Teen Leadership camp.

"I'm so happy Miss Katie had me sit next to Christopher that one time" Trevon said out of the blue on our drive home one night.

Trevon is a teenager who is on my Super Saturday van route, and part of UFM's teen leadership group.  Christopher is in elementary school and he used to have a huge problem focusing and being respectful during Super Saturday.  One week, Miss Katie (who had Christopher on her pickup route and got to know him pretty well) asked Trevon to sit with Christopher during the lesson so that he could help him pay attention.

I wasn't there when she asked him, but knowing Trevon he did it willingly.  He's got a great attitude, and is incredibly helpful.  This is one of the things I love about our teens: they are so willing to help.  They come with such an eager spirit, and it really shows what Super Saturday means to them.

He told me later that he feels like he can help Chris because he used to be kind of restless like him.  Trevon found it amazing how much they could connect, and how he can stay patient with him because he knows how he feels.

Trevon beams when he talks about Christopher.  They find each other immediately at Super Saturday, and now they are on the same van so have even more time to hang out.  I've also seen a huge shift in Christopher.  He respects Trevon and knows he can ask him questions rather than seek attention elsewhere.

This is just one example of the amazing teens involved at UFM.  It has been wonderful to see them grow up (literally).  I've known some of them for 5+ years and it's really incredible to see the change.  In a time where some rebel, fall into the wrong crowd, or start making bad decisions, this group has made a different choice.  They're still learning, but aren't we all?

I'm so thankful that UFM has a place for these teens, and I'm thankful that they are investing as well.  They're investing in themselves, they're investing in an organization that they belong to, and they're investing in the next generation of kids.

"I just love Chris,” Trevon often says.  It makes me happy every time.

~guest author, Melissa K, volunteer

Lessons from a 10 year old...

I like driving around with my kids, both long and short rides provide a captive audience.  They can’t escape your questions and “meddling” as you’re driving 80 down the highway.    Recently, the forecast warned of an incoming winter storm. Kerby, my 10 year old, and I were sitting in the van before he went to school.  Here is the discussion that ensued….

Kerby: “If this building gets blown over I will have to go to a different school.” 

Me: “A blizzard can't blow this building down.. a tornado could but not a blizzard.”

Kerby: “A blizzard and tornado together could blow it down.”

Me: “Yes but you're not going to have a blizzard and a tornado together.”

Kerby: “Yes you can.”

Me: “No you can't. The temperature needs to be warmer and then cold weather come blowing in or the other way around.”

Kerby: “Yes you can. The weather can be below 32 degrees and then air much warmer comes in and you have a tornado.”

Me (starting to get impatient): “Kerby... That's not possible.... It can't happen.”

Kerby: “Yes it can cuz God can do anything!”

Me: sigh... “You got me on that one Kerby..... You got me on that one.”

Childlike faith.  

How often do we adults totally lose that concept?  How often do we start to rationalize God’s power to do this or that?  How many times do we miss blessings and miracles because we put God in a box and then shut the lid?

 

We serve a very BIG GOD!  MY God CAN make a tornado and a hurricane at the same time (and I have someone who looked it up, linked the article to my facebook page just to show me it can happen!  This also gave Kerby a chance to say “I told you so!”)  If we don’t believe God can make a tornado and hurricane happen at the same time, how can we believe that same God will save us from our sins?  How can we believe that same God has the power to whisper to us when we need to hear his voice or yell at us when we are being disobedient?  How can we believe God can change people – change us? 

I have thanked God for the great example Kerby gave of child-like faith.  I know MY God is BIG and can do ANYTHING!!!!  

~guest author, Noelle, staff

Service Project Required...

Heidi and Manuel at camp in 2012.

That’s what was expected of Cornerstone University students who chose to enroll in Leadership Journey (LJ) before 2007. Leadership Journey was a two week program featuring a week long leadership camp at Grace Adventures, a week-long intensive worldview course at Cornerstone, and a required weekly service project that spanned the entire school-year. In 2005, when Heidi began her college experience she was thrust into the ‘must do’ community service project following camp experience and worldview class. Her Leadership Journey Group chose to serve at Urban Family Ministries’ Super Saturday (SS) program.

Now this meant that EVERY Saturday evening a group of college freshmen would go to Calvary Church and help out with this inner-city ministry. Yes, these students gave up EVERY Saturday night of their first semester to volunteer with Urban Family Ministries (UFM). They hosted a group of 6-8 years old kiddos, on campus, each week second semester.

This is where Heidi fell in love. Now, don’t let your mind wander, she fell head over heels in love with ALL of these children! When Heidi would call home, as her Mom I wanted to know how school was going and of course, wanted to know her grades! However, Heidi ALWAYS wanted to talk about Super Saturday!!!!(The ‘required’ service project that she wasn't getting graded on….at least not by Cornerstone….).

Fast forward to sophomore year, Heidi served as a mentor for a Leadership Journey group. Heidi’s LJ group wanted to do something different this year, but nothing was working out, so they “ended” serving with UFM again, bringing kiddos to campus for a weekly visit! Hmmmm….I think God was in control, don’t you???

To make a 7 year story short, Heidi volunteered at SS all 4 yrs of college. Yep, she gave up her Saturday evenings to bless and mostly be blessed by these children and other volunteers. What we as her parents, and she being an English Education Major, didn't know, was that God was prepping her for what is now, her full-time ‘job’!!! “Job” is in quotes, because this is truly her God given gift and calling. She is a missionary right in her home town, Grand Rapids!!!

Submitted by a very thankful mother of a child who followed God’s will!! 

~guest author, Darla Chinn

I DON'T NEED HELP!!

          I’m sure we have all seen an increase of panhandlers standing on the corners here in Grand Rapids.  The look of this sign is pretty familiar, but when you read this sign, it is very different.  Normally what we see people asking for help.  The signs speak of everything from" health issues" to" parent of kids and they are homeless" to" lost my job and can’t feed my dog" to "homeless vet."  Some write whatever they can to pull at the heart strings of the generous West Michigan residents.  This is not going to be about whether or not those people are being honest, what they use the money for or whether or not we should help. This is about is a very simple question.  How many times do you hold this sign up to God?

          We are all guilty.  At some point, and some of us at many points of our lives, pray to God for his direction but hidden in our hearts is this sign saying “I DON’T need help!”    At Super Saturday, Alf, UFM’s Executive Director, taught a lesson on this sign.  He had a couple boys perform a skit where they walked past the young man holding this sign and offering him things like a coat, food, etc.  He shook them off, refusing their aid.  Alf used this skit to talk about the first beatitude found in Matthew 5:3, “Blessed are those who are spiritually needy.    The kingdom of heaven belongs to them.” (NIVR)  He shared with the kids how we walk around holding this sign up to God quite often.  We might be asking for his guidance or we don’t think his guidance is needed because “We got this,” but our God wants to be in every detail of our lives… the little ones and the big ones.  We need to cross off the “don’t” and beg God to be  our helper, our strength, our refuge.  Our trust should be in HIM, not ourselves.

How often do YOU hold this sign up with the word DON’T?

And camp season begins...

This time of year we begin planning for the approaching summer camp season. You have the opportunity to sponsor a child's camp experience! If you are not part of our mailing list, please go to Urban Family Ministries website and fill in a simple information form to begin receiving periodical mailings. We are excited to share stories and changes being made to our camp program in the coming months, for now here are a few pictures from last summer! 

The end of a week of camp...

At camp we get to play in the water

Play paintball

           

Be a part of a crud war

               

And we can get real cruddy.. 

We also get to build real relationships with each other and Jesus Christ.

You just never know why...

You know the kids.  The kids that misbehave week after week, and you swear they're doing it JUST to get on your nerves.    The kids that you'd avoid because you knew they would just drive you nuts if you tried to interact with them.  I'm not proud, but I had this mindset for a while.  I couldn't get outside myself to think about anything but how I was being affected by these kids' behavior.

This was back when I didn't know any of our kids' stories. I remember Noelle talking about some of the families' situations, and suddenly things started to click.  The kid that was angry and wouldn’t talk?  She doesn't trust people because she's been bounced around between family members all her life.  The cranky kid who won't listen to anyone?  He hasn't eaten since yesterday.  The kid who keeps getting in fights?  She gets hit at home and that's the only way she knows how to deal with problems.

It was then that I started to see the big picture.   You never know the whole story.   Even when someone puts on a happy face, they could be hurting deeply inside.

"Be kind for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle" (commonly attributed to Plato).

I'd heard this quote many times, but I only began to understand it better after learning the kids' stories.  No matter how frustrated I was at their behavior, I was able to take a step back and look at the big picture.  I had a couple choices- I could get mad and get angry with them, or I could be kind.

The words friendly, generous, and considerate are found in the definition of kind.  Act as a friend, love generously, and be considerate of their feelings and what they're going through.  Pretty simple in theory, but sometimes very hard in execution.

Before any interaction with our kids I usually have to step back and check myself.  I try to check my frustrations, angers, emotions, and anything I'm carrying myself at the door.  None of these outside circumstances can affect how I treat my kids, that's not fair to them. 

So that's my challenge: to myself, and to you, "Be kind (friendly, generous, considerate) for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle."

~guest author, Melissa, volunteer

HOW do you do it??

          That is a question we, as staff, are often asked when people find out what we do.  We understand it to be a rhetorical question.  My response doesn't waver, no matter what the motive behind the question.  "It's the hardest thing I've ever done yet the best thing I've ever done."

      It’s not your typical nine-to-five desk job.  Most days are planned in your calendar but rarely executed on schedule.   Some days are so heart wrenching, you pray for Jesus to return and take you home.  Some days are so joyous, you pray to never forget what you are experiencing.   You know that you will need these moments as a reminder for those days when you feel your heart has exited your body and is laying in the middle of traffic with 16-wheelers driving over it one after another after another.
   
     Recently, I was in a position where I had to make a decision of which family I was going to be with.  One was attending the funeral of the families oldest daughter (followed by a funeral, the next morning, for the step-daughter) who was murdered 4 days before; or be in court to support a young man and his mom whom I’ve known for 10+ years and is working to get custody of his 1 year old son.  If it was just a normal court hearing, it would have been an easier decision but his mom was in despair, afraid they were going to lose the baby over an accident.  How do you decide between two hurting families?  One at the height of their grief over losing a child; the other experiencing anxiety and emotions deeper than they remember in fear of losing their child/grandchild.   The loss for the second family would be as deep as what the first family was in the middle of experiencing.  How do you decide when both things are an hour apart and the drive between the two is 40 minutes?  I searched and searched for an answer...  and there was none.  I sought wise counsel but still did not feel at peace.  I sought counsel again - still no peace.
   

     These decisions are common when involved in family ministry - other families become your family.   You never know when you might get that phone call, a knock on your door, a text that jolts you out of your reality and thrusts you into a whole different world that is uncomfortable, scary and maybe even dangerous.  Our jobs aren’t just a means to a paycheck.  They are our life. We are on the clock 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  

In the trenches

We are in the trenches when we participate in ground level ministry.  We are meeting people who have lived lives that many only see in movies.  We meet with prostitutes; we live next to drug dealers; we have people shot outside our homes; we are with children who do not know how to control their anger; we are in homes of teens who are in need of mental health care; we have kids in our homes who have never experienced affectionate positive love from a parent; we speak with parents who don’t want their kids anymore; we see deep hurt, crippling fear, and overwhelming addiction....  but out of that we also see God’s redeeming power.  We have seen women come to know Jesus and watched their countenance change.  We have seen young men approach us and ask to have a SAFE place to hang out.  We have seen young men and women say “I will never be like this” and surround themselves with people who are helping to pull them out of the cycle.  We have seen children abandoned by their parents, fight to have a better future.

Our God is more powerful than any of the horrific things that we experience.  God has called each of us, whether staff or volunteer staff, to serve at UFM at this time for a specific reason.  Our job is to be obedient to what HE calls us to do.  Until then we dream of a time when we will be sitting face to face with Jesus, in full and complete worship, praising Him.  I recently ran across a song by Kari Jobe entitled ‘The More I Seek You.”  The lyrics provide such a worshipful time in my own corner of the world that I have played it over and over again, dreaming of the time we stand face-to-face with Jesus.

“The more I seek you, the more I find you.  The more I find you, the more I love you.  I wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand, lay back against you and breathe, feel your heart beat.  This love is so deep, it’s more than I can stand.  I melt in your peace, it’s overwhelming.”

It’s these moments and prayers that keep us going.  It’s these times when we have to lean on God’s strength.  It’s these days when we have to keep our eyes focused on the one who called us to minister at the ground level.