You just never know why...

You know the kids.  The kids that misbehave week after week, and you swear they're doing it JUST to get on your nerves.    The kids that you'd avoid because you knew they would just drive you nuts if you tried to interact with them.  I'm not proud, but I had this mindset for a while.  I couldn't get outside myself to think about anything but how I was being affected by these kids' behavior.

This was back when I didn't know any of our kids' stories. I remember Noelle talking about some of the families' situations, and suddenly things started to click.  The kid that was angry and wouldn’t talk?  She doesn't trust people because she's been bounced around between family members all her life.  The cranky kid who won't listen to anyone?  He hasn't eaten since yesterday.  The kid who keeps getting in fights?  She gets hit at home and that's the only way she knows how to deal with problems.

It was then that I started to see the big picture.   You never know the whole story.   Even when someone puts on a happy face, they could be hurting deeply inside.

"Be kind for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle" (commonly attributed to Plato).

I'd heard this quote many times, but I only began to understand it better after learning the kids' stories.  No matter how frustrated I was at their behavior, I was able to take a step back and look at the big picture.  I had a couple choices- I could get mad and get angry with them, or I could be kind.

The words friendly, generous, and considerate are found in the definition of kind.  Act as a friend, love generously, and be considerate of their feelings and what they're going through.  Pretty simple in theory, but sometimes very hard in execution.

Before any interaction with our kids I usually have to step back and check myself.  I try to check my frustrations, angers, emotions, and anything I'm carrying myself at the door.  None of these outside circumstances can affect how I treat my kids, that's not fair to them. 

So that's my challenge: to myself, and to you, "Be kind (friendly, generous, considerate) for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle."

~guest author, Melissa, volunteer